Merkan-English Dictionary #8

Crikey! It's been a while since I wrote anything for this, innit?

Two themes this time: words that sound the same but are spelt differently and words that sond different but are spelt the same. Depending on whether you're British or Foreign. (Note: British people are never foreign, even when they're abroad. Conversely, abroad is full of foreigners.)

Firstly, Merkans hate the combination of the vowels "o" and "u". Hence their insistence on writing words like "color" or "neighbor" instead of the correct form: "colour" and "neighbour". Maybe they're just lazy? Anyway, it's now got to the stage that predictive texting on my British-boght moby tries to deliberately mis-spell words for me. Grr!

Secondly, there's "centre" versus "center". Do Merkans hate ending a word on a vowel or what?

And what's the story on "z"? The last letter in the alphabet is obviously pronounced "Zed". Just ask Zed. This "Zee" nonsense should just stop.

Or neighbors have a car the same color as their hose. They've just gone on holiday to New Zedland in the Sothern Hemisfear and left their Afghan Hond at or place. We'd like to walk her in Centeral Park, but it's too rogh. So we stay at home and listen to Zed Zed Top and that.

My brain hurts now. I'm oph phour a lye doune.