A stolen bronze statue of Olympic Gold medallist Steve Ovett has been found in pieces on a bonfire. Insert your own punchline here.
More animals in the moos - the recent outbreak of Foot and Mouth Disease has been traced to a government laboratory next door to the affected farms. Bear found to be Catholic, Pope shits in woods, research causes cancer in rats, etc.
Rich bitch Leona Helmsley left her dog $12 million in her will, and now - you've guessed it - the dog is being sued by a former housekeeper for biting her. As the lady's son put it, "That dog got money. That money is going to be taken away from that dog." Sounds like that dog is nothing but Trouble.
Only 12 days to
ITLAPD. How will you be joining in the fun, maties? Arrr!Update: Late breaking animal news - Gorilla Bananas has released a video. Who knew gorillas could play drums?
