And I'd Have Gotten Away With It Too...

...if it wasn't for those pesky non-existent kids.

How can anyone, even in Glasgow, claim benefits for fourteen children she doesn't have for four years and nobody even bother to check? Grr.

She'd probably be claiming still, except that she "got greedy" and started claiming for phantom disabilities that her phantom kids didn't have.

"Er, hello, is that the Social? Aye, it's Mrs Semple. Again. It's aboot oor wee, er, haud on...Tariq. The poor wee thing's got, let's see, Gulf War Syndrome. How much can we get for that? Pardon? Aye, he's three. Well, Ah suppose he must of caught it from his dad. Along with the mesothelioma, cirrhosis and Madonna's Disease. Making it up, what makes you think I'm making it up? The Internet wouldn't lie to me...would it?"