So. What have I missed?
Well, for one thing, the fuckwitted city council of Birmingham (not Alabama, the other one) have seen fit to ban apostrophes from their signage. Apparently the cost of reintroducing them would be astronomical. Maybe I can help out. Hey, Brum! Here, have some apostrophes! '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
While were on the subject, whats the correct spelling of the half-street that runs through Embra city centre?
![Princes Street Princes_Street](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfn9W3ZqhDmQi2i25STqKUAijDgAUqILlaM9j4MNYglm32liNUmNFI-yAbC39ZNp6BpEnro4a3CRW5HoWHTSXHaKTkQ5yd3XatGi0uvnqcB3KGZ5BVLmABBwcquz5TBXYlp223wIl3EX1n/s400/castleview.jpg)
Thats right - Princes Street. Named after the two sons of Mad King George III. No apostrophe needed. Your welcome.
You have no idea how hard it is for me not to go back and punctuate that paragraph.
Me: So we're going to play it soothing music?
Mrs F: WTF?
Me: I've heard that's good for developing fœtuses.
Mrs F: What exactly do you think a bassinet is?
Me: Er, some kind of musical instrument?
Mrs F: How did you arrive at that conclusion?
Me: It's a cross between a bassoon and a clarinet, innit?
![Clarinet Clarinet](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNQ9BJNqWAx6zcpx08mvmiwGSCF0laf8Vh8LSToK3u7Z854cYA_W6EGFKfQxdhmmM05LxbwNUbLkuihHl4nn_zb7ED8QoBmxCyfobrihp9IB_Bw13q238XnKiGU5bck5WcAIdk9ReODVzM/s200/Clarinet.jpg)
![Bassinet Bassinet](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYwsP3unFSp506elD0xsllHROcbneNFQXykCkvgYIRkds0yi4mPDAxQ8daUU5FYEhlPYd9sG8DBRqEXP_XEg5UBlLe2US9TifhylgmFQGb8iHhITB08hND8lz4lyRPQy9JNnEmmghk1QPy/s400/bassinet.jpg)
I wonder which part you blow?
Did you know New England isn't actually a US state? I didn't.
![All gone to look for America USA](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw8HORX9M64g6irgHVtPqcFjYZdRYGOXNMUII5_QbDd4xaiKAnt9znPtn27X6fuNGL_4f8pFcxZq9EZsZ1iCCNNZLyxUjugpBsCgI_z09C39mhx19uYq41WjdcL2fJkAMOaOlewamwb3b5/s400/usa.jpg)
An atheist campaign group was cleared to run ads on London buses claiming that there's probably no God. Christians wanted the ads banned on the grounds of substantiation and truthfulness, but the ASA ruled that the ad wasn't misleading, because they used the word 'probably'. Now the backlash - Christians want to place ads saying there is a God. Won't they have to prove it first?
![Flying Spaghetti Monster FSM](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKJc6ftM4IHYzcoVf1xvCuaqIbLad7hGOsRafQdwwAgBMgEdQct7UdatLrnw7XBYKmSEqcRS-Zuds3g2T8UwywB0KGJjp9l27qebUNQbkuLfkYt7xfCHzr2_mGzjYFUEnFeei6BTlZJn8t/s400/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster.jpg)
On the subject of invisible flying things, did you hear about the Lincolnshire wind turbine that was hit by a UFO? According to The Sun, "there was no trace of one of the turbine’s three huge 65ft blades." Until it turned up a few feet away. And in order to hit two of the blades, any object must have been about 170 feet long. Er...unless the blades were rotating.