- Candyfloss / Cotton Candy
- Full Stop / Period
- Nappy / Diaper
- Films / Movies
- Kerb / Curb
- St. Patrick's Day / St. Patty's Day
Candyfloss is a sweet, sticky confection that goes all over your face and makes a mess when you eat it. Whereas cotton candy is what your kids have at the fair. FSM, you have got such a filthy mind!
A full stop is that bit what prevents your sentences from flowing on forever. A period, on the other hand, involves quite a lot of flowing. Unless you have some torpedoes or logs to hand.
The word "nappy" is of course derived from "napkin", which is a piece of absorbent cloth what you wear around your neck when you're eating posh nosh1. I wouldn't recommend wearing a nappy as a bib, at least not a used one, unless you want to lose weight in a hurry.
A diaper is described in Wikipedia as "an absorbent garment worn by individuals who are incapable of controlling their bladder or bowel movements, or are unable or unwilling to use a toilet." Like that mental astronaut.
Films, or pictures, or flicks if you're really old, are the moving pictures you see at the cinema, viz.:
"Mum, I want to see the pictures."
"There's pictures on the wall."
"But I want to see moving pictures."
"Well move them."
Merkan movies are generally about a gazillion times better than British pictures - except in terms of historical accuracy: see Titanic, U-571 and Apollo 13.
I think define.com says it all:
kerb
noun: an edge between a sidewalk and a roadway consisting of a line of curbstones.
In other words, I have no fricking idea why we spell it funny in the UK. We even pronounce it exactly the same as Merkans do.
I'm getting tyred of this now.
On St. Patty's Day, Merkans like to celebrate by eating corned beef and cabbage. And parading around Noo Yawk.
Mr Farty's friend N, from Oirland, hates the expression "St. Patty's Day" and isn't that keen on corned beef. Her views on cabbage are, at this time, a mystery.
You're welcome.
1 Not to be confused with what Victoria Beckham gave David as a birthday present.
