That's the question facing Britney Spears this week. Not for her kids, whom she seems to have lost in a Wildean manner, but for herself. For in the latest twist to this modern saga, it looks as if Ms Spears is fighting to retain control of her Chihuahua.
That's a euphemism for ladygarden, right? After my gran lost control of hers, she had to wear a nappy for the rest of her life. I blame the drink and drugs; gran always was a bit of a wild one.
As long as it means we don't have to put up with pictures of her shaven bits. Who wants to see someone's unmentionables?
Oh, you do? Ok.